You're Random!

I just committed murder at my desk. The murder of the most disgusting multi-appendaged insecty THING I have ever seen. UGH! And I keep finding its severed, quivering legs around my desk. This is not acceptable. Unacceptable, if you will. Why are there gross bugs in the Smithsonian??? Why are there insects anywhere at all but outdoors? I saw it and I cringed and I wheeled my chair as far away from it as the 3-square foot floorspace of my cube allowed and I squealed and said things like "EW!" and "Ugh!" but no one came to my rescue. I guess damsels in distress really have to be whiny obnoxious things to get noticed.

I told my mentor that the next time we meet I just want to hear all about his career and the things he knows now that he wish he knew then and the advice he has and every little detail he wants to share about his time as a writer/editor. He said he'd bore me to tears. Hmmm. Okay, if late Tuesday night you hear of my untimely demise don't be surprised if the coroner's report reads "Cause of Death: Boredom by Way of Life Story." (Sidebar - that won't happen. It's going to be good.)

Sidebar? What, cause I'm all about courtroom lingo now? I gave up the dream of law school years ago when I realized the Socratic method would kill me. Wow, a lot of death-by-speech fear in this post. Maybe I should talk to someone about that.

I go in spurts of putting books on hold at the library. I'll have nothing to read so I start browsing Amazon and stuff to see what the top selling books are and then I go all bananas requesting them at the library. Then they all come in at once and I have 6 books to read and 3 weeks to do it. NO, I CAN'T just renew them because please keep in mind that these are top selling books, which means there's a queue of at least 20 people behind me wanting to read the same material. You can't renew books that are on hold. But now I got two books on grant writing from a coworker so I can learn some stuff and develop professionally and all that hooey. So now I have 8 books. No, 7. Cause I just finished one.

I want a puppy but I only want to play with it. No walking it, no following it around on the walk with a little plastic baggy, and no paying for vet stuff. Kinda like the same way I want kids right now. Just for play time and when they laugh at my songs and stories. When they adore me, mainly. Not when I have to put them to bed and they've somehow managed to get 8 pieces of gum stuck in my hair when I wasn't paying attention. Just a fear I have...

Last Sunday I helped out in the babies section instead of pre-K. Those kids are cute. I took this one baby from his dad and put him on my hip and started talking baby talk to him. He took one look at me and stuck his hand in my mouth. I did the fake bite thing and he laughed. After that, we were besties. I mean, 1 year-olds just get a kick out of the weirdest stuff. These three kids sat in a rocking chair and just cracked up while I rocked them back and forth. I kept making the same silly noises over and over again at each crest of the rocking wave and they ate it up.

I have to run to the drug store and the grocery store after work. Why the errands? Why? Why do adults have to run so many errands? There's always something I need to get from somewhere, always! ACK, my dry cleaning!!!